


Where's Maya

by rosetintmyworld



Category: Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World
Genre: Abduction, Cult Fiction episode tag, F/M, Flashbacks, M/M, Missing Children, Rape/Non-con Elements, The Centre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-04-22 22:13:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4852445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosetintmyworld/pseuds/rosetintmyworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was gone for a week before anyone noticed. She vanished without a trace before anyone had a clue. Now Shawn must work to find the girl who reminds him of him while he figures out exactly what happened to him 20 years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Missing

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Filling the Emptiness](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2508983) by [Calacious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calacious/pseuds/Calacious). 



> This was inspired by Filling the Emptiness by Calacious

I stepped into apartment to see Riley sitting on the couch, her fingers skating over her phone quickly.

“Hey, look who’s here, you’re favorite uncle, where’s Maya? I got her some new brushes fo-” I began only to realize that no one was paying attention to me.

“Well, this is a different greeting than Christmas.” I said and Riley looked up from her phone.

“Hey Uncle Shawn.” She said distractedly.

“What’s so damn important on that phone?” I asked and she looked up at me as if she’d never heard a curse word before.

“ _Uncle Shawn._ ” She hissed and I rolled my eyes.

“What’s so important on that _Dang_ phone?” I asked, sitting on the arm of the couch.

“Maya’s not answering any of her texts.” Riley said, pulling her lip between her teeth.

“Maybe it’s dead.” I supplied.

“She hasn’t answered all week.” Riley said and I crossed my arms.

“Well why?” I asked.

“The girls are fighting.” Topanga supplied from the kitchen.

“Why?” I asked.

“Maya… I don’t know, she’d been blowing us off. But she wouldn’t tell us what for. I got worried because she spends all day in her room on her computer. I was worried.” Riley said, tucking her feet under her.

“Well, just go over there.” I said and she shook her head.

“She didn’t answer the door. And she hasn’t been to school all week. I guess her mom took her on vacation or something. I don’t know.” Riley said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

That didn’t sound like the Katy I’d begrudgingly become to know through the calls and texts we’d been sending each other as of late. It wasn’t much, I wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship as Riley would have wanted. I just genuinely cared for the kid.

“I’ve got to go check in, I’ll see you guys.” I said and Topanga frowned.

 “Cory’ll be disappointed you weren’t here when he got back.” Topanga said and I shrugged.

“I’ll be back tonight.” I said and made my way back to my rental car.

I didn’t like underground transportation anymore.

I drove to Maya’s neighborhood. I could hear the sirens that seemed to always plague neighborhoods like this, that and dogs barking.

The soundtrack of poverty.

I knew the noises.

Trailer parks and tenements weren’t that different from each other.

You were still white trash no matter what.

 

I rubbed my hands together before making my way up to the fifth floor.

I knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

I sighed before knocking again.

 

“I told you Linda, I’ll have the money to you by next wed- Oh Shawn.” She opened the door, tugging her hair behind her ear.

“Hi Katy.” I said and she furrowed her eyebrows as if trying to remember if there was a reason I would be standing at her door at four in the afternoon with an art set tucked under my arm.

“That’s weird, Maya didn’t tell me you were coming in.” She said, running a hand through her hair.

“I think I mentioned it, last time we talked.” I said and she nodded absently.

“Come in, I was just about to go to work.” She said and I raised an eyebrow but stepped into the apartment.

“I had another audition today. I should get a call in the next few days. This could be my big break. I could get out of this hellhole.” She said and I hummed noncommittally.

“Would you like something to drink?” She asked and I eyed the vodka as she poured some in her coffee.

“Get a little Irish Breakfast in me.” She said and I shook my head.

“No thank you. I was just here to see Maya and drop off this kit for her. I know her brushes were getting frayed.” I said and she raised an eyebrow as she took a deep sip from her coffee.

“Well she’s not here. She’s at the Matthews.” She said after clearing her throat.

“What?” I asked.

“She’s at the Matthews. Hardly comes home until she has to.” She said and I furrowed my eyebrows at this woman.

Was she that drunk?

“Katy, the girls have been fighting. Maya hasn’t been to school in a week.” I explained slowly and she squinted at me as if she were having a hard time understanding me.

“She hasn’t been to school? Why didn’t the school call me; I swear if that girl is lying in her room moping…” Katy said and I followed her to Maya’s room.

She swung the door opened to an empty room.

“Where the hell is she?” Katy asked out loud.

“You don’t know where your daughter is? She didn’t come home all week and you don’t check? What kind of mother-” I asked and she turned on me, eyes red.

“You shut your mouth about me Shawn Hunter.” She said and I clenched my teeth.

“I’ve got to go, I’m going to be late to work-” She began and I felt my hands wrap in the folds of her wrinkled uniform as I pushed her against the door.

“You’ve got to go? It’s like you don’t care what happened to her. What did you do to that girl Katy?” I asked and she stared me down.

“What are you going to do, Hunter? Hit me? Do it. Wouldn’t be the first time and certainly won’t be the last. You may have a problem with the way I raise my girl, but it is my girl to raise. I didn’t do shit to her. If she is gone, it is of her own volition.” She spat out and I shoved her a little harder against the wall, anger still tightening my knuckles.

“Katy, I swear to God.” I muttered.

“Why do you care Shawn? Why do you care about that little girl huh sicko?” She taunted and I clenched my jaw.

“Shut up Katy. Shut the fuck up.” I commanded through my teeth.

“Get your hands off me pervert.” She hissed and I let her go.

“I’ve got to get to work. I can’t afford to lose my job.” She said, straightening her apron.

“She’ll be home when she’s done chasing her illusions of normalcy. When she’s back, I want you gone.” She said before running out the apartment. I was left standing in Maya’s room wondering if Katy were right.


	2. 1 Day Gone: New start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya's now with Mr. Mack

Maya

1 day Gone

I stepped onto the grassy fields.

There was no way that this place was still in New York. I had to be in the south, where there was nothing for miles.

“Come on, this way Maya.” Sherri said, her hand on my back in what she thought must have been comforting.

She was too close, too open and friendly.

It was like being with Riley.

I didn’t want that.

She led me into a large house.

The living room had to be as big as my apartment.

“Just this way. He’s waiting for you.” She said, her body basically vibrating with excitement.

“Isn’t this so much better?” Sherri whispered as He stood up from a chair.

“Maya, how are you?” He asked and I looked at him. He towered over me, his shoulders wide and his hair slicked back. He was older, older than my mom or _Shawn._ He looked, however, like he thought he was still 20. Still the same man who could relate.

He looked young enough to confide in.

Old enough to protect.

All I wanted was to be protected.

“I’m fine.” I mumbled and he wrapped me in a hug.

Hugs were not a thing I got from older men.

My father never hugged me.

“I’m so happy you’ve arrived. I’ve been waiting a long time for someone like you.” He said and I found it hard to look into his smile.

How could he be so happy with me when I wasn’t happy with myself?

Why would he care if my mom didn’t?

He squatted down to look me in the eye and put his hand on my face.

“You’re home now. We are your family now. We love you so very much.” He said softly and I found myself nodding again.

“Sherri, I’m sure she’s tired. Would you take her to get some nourishment then off to bed?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yes Mr. Mack.” She said before leading me to a kitchen.

“Everything will be so much better, won’t it?” She asked and I nodded.

“Everything will be so much better.” I repeated.

“Welcome to the Centre Maya, Welcome home.” She said before hugging me again.

2 days gone

I leaned my head over the side of the bed, my stomach emptying itself out. I could absently feel Sherri trying to reach out and pet over me. I pushed her away, spitting out strings of vomit.

“Is she still sick?” I heard a voice say before I felt a dip in the bed.

“Shh, you’re alright Maya.” Mr. Mack said, rubbing his hands over my back.

I felt frail and broken as my body bent painfully in half to release the sickness.

“It’s best to get it out. You have to purge everything from there from your body. You’ll be better after you purge.” He whispered into my ear as I retched again.

“Good girl. You’re such a good girl.” He whispered, pulling a strand of hair out of my face.

“Sherri, can you bring her some water?” He asked and she retrieved the pan I’d been throwing up in, replacing it with a empty one, before leaving the room.

He smiled down at me and I looked away, spitting into the empty tray.

I didn’t like being fussed over. My mother was never the type to fuss over me like this. She didn’t sit by me and run her hands through my hair, telling me I’d be okay.

Katy wasn’t always the woman she was. She used to genuinely care about me, but that was before my father cheated on her.

I was a sad mistake.

So was she.

I felt my hair being tugged up into a ponytail and I looked up at Mr. Mack.

“Look what they’ve done to your face.” He muttered, running his finger over the bruise on my face.

Mr. Mack laid me back onto the bed.

“Lay back alright? You’ll feel better.” He said and I let my tired eyes drift closed.

My head was pounding.


	3. The Search Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this chapter may seem short and slow, but it's just some establishing stuff. Also, there are hints of Larkle, it's not a thing, but it's just an outsiders point of view on their friendship. Enjoy!

Shawn

“Maya’s gone.” I said as I sat on Cory’s couch.

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Cory asked and I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“I talked to Katy. She thought that Maya had been here all week.” I said and Topanga gasped.

“God, I can’t imagine how she must feel.” She said, leaning against the counter.

“She doesn’t give a fuck.” I spat out and ran my hands through my hair.

“But, She thinks Maya’s trying to find something. She says she goes out and searches for ‘normalcy’. I don’t know what that means.” I said softly.

“Do you think that she went to find her father? Maybe she’s with him.” Topanga offered and Cory shook his head.

“Would you have gone with your father after their divorce?” Cory asked and Topanga shook her head.

“No matter what, she wouldn’t have gone with that man who makes her feel unloved. She had to have gone with someone who promised her safety. I know that girl; she’s too smart to just go with anyone. And she’s way too smart to go wandering around New York looking for herself.” He said and I shook my head.

“What is a fourteen year old even looking for?” I asked out loud.

I knew damn well what she was looking for.

I spent my whole youth trying to find something that I couldn’t.

It’s hard being unwanted.

“We’ve got to find her. Before something bad happens.” I said and Cory nodded.

“I’ll call the police. Maybe we can get an amber alert out. Maybe someone saw her.” Cory said, going to the phone.

 I excused myself, heading to the bathroom.

I splashed water over my face before looking in the mirror.

This was going to be a long night.

“She’s been missing for five days, and you just now decide to put out an amber alert, on someone else’s kid?” The officer asked and I scrubbed over my face.

“We weren’t aware she was missing. She hadn’t been to school, but the school got a call that Maya was going to be out for a while. I was told she was on vacation.” Cory said, even though as he said it, I could tell he didn’t believe it.

Katy didn’t call up to the school.

Her shift ended at five a.m. She wasn’t going to be awake to call the school at nine in the morning.

She wouldn’t be sober enough to take that kid anywhere.

“Why isn’t her mother here?” The officer asked.

“Katy’s at work. Maya normally spends her days, and sometimes nights over here. She said she didn’t know where she was.” I answered and the officer looked over at me.

“And who are you, exactly?” He asked and took a deep breath.

Who was I to that little girl?

“I am a family friend and brief boyfriend to her mother.” I said, hating that that was the truth.

“Ex-boyfriend, alright.” The officer said, writing it down in his books.

“We’ll do what we can. But there isn’t much to go on. Wherever that girl is, it wasn’t spontaneous. It was planned.” He said.

“Do you think someone took her?” Cory asked and he shook his head.

“From what you’ve told me. She doesn’t sound like a snatch. This could have been deliberate. If she was taken, it was by choice.” He said and I wanted to rage.

Cory clapped me on the back.

“Thank you officer, please call if you find anything.” Topanga said, showing him to the door.

Cory led me to the bathroom.

“Ex-boyfriend?” He asked, folding his arms and I shrugged.

“I wanted to be there for her. I just… I didn’t know another way.” I said.

“What happened between you and Katy?” He asked and I shook my head.

“I couldn’t stay there with her. I cared more for Maya than I did for Katy. I had to end it.” I said and he raised his eyebrow.

“Shawn…”

“I’m really tired Cor, I’ve gotta get back to my hotel room.” I said and Cory grabbed my forearm.

“Stay the night?” He asked and I shook my head.

“I paid a lot for that room.” I said and he let me go.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. We want to start passing out fliers. Maybe someone saw her or knows where she is.” Cory said and I nodded.

“Hey Cor, you don’t think she could have… killed herself?” I asked softly and his forehead furrowed.

He wasn’t shocked by the question.

I wanted him to be shocked.

“I… I think Maya would have thought twice.” He whispered and I swallowed hard before nodding.

“You’re right, she’s stronger than that.”  I agreed even though I could see the doubt in Cory’s eyes.

I had to believe that she was okay.

 

I looked around the park as I watched volunteers put up posters.

It was mostly people from Cory’s class and their parents.

Parents were concerned there was some kind of kid snatching pedophile roaming around the city.

I didn’t think that was it.

It didn’t feel like that, it felt… more than that.

Something that was on the tip of my tongue.

Katy wasn’t there.

“Hey Mr. Hunter.” I looked up to see the rugged boy that Riley and Maya liked to hang out with. He had a slight twang in his voice and serious eyes.

He looked like he had it all.

“Do you think someone hurt Maya?” He asked and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“I don’t know.” I said and his face got even more serious.

Objectively I could see what Riley saw in him.

He had a seriousness that Cory rarely showed.

That and the perfectly symmetrical face.

“No one better had hurt her, or I swear to God.” He murmured before clenching his teeth.

“She’ll be fine. She’s a fighter.” I said and he nodded up at me.

“She sure is.”  He said with a small smirk.

“Come on Farkle, let’s go meet up with Zay and check the west end.” He said and Farkle jumped up and followed him.

Maybe Riley wasn’t the only one who saw something in him.


	4. 10 Days Gone: Adjusting

Maya

10 days gone

I sat up, everything was fuzzy around me.

I felt indescribably hungry yet afraid to eat.

I hadn’t been able to keep anything down.

The door opened and Mr. Mack stepped into the room.

“Good Morning Maya.” He said and I wiped at my mouth subconsciously.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked and I could feel my ponytail hit the back of my head limply as I nodded.

“That’s fantastic. I’m so glad you’re well again. Is there anything I can do for you?” He asked, sitting on the bed next to me.

His big hand soothed over my back before playing at the ends of my hair.

“I could use a shower.” I whispered and he nodded.

“Yes, it’d be best to get you out of those clothes.” He said and I looked down at my sweater that had once been tight on me and my dingy jeans.

“Come darling. I’ll get Sherri to get you a bath and get you taken care of. Alright?” He said, running his hand down my face affectionately.

I nodded, looking down at the floor before he stood up.

“Come along, we’ll find Sherri.” He said, helping me off the bed and I collapsed to my knees. He picked me up effortlessly and I let my eyes drift closed.

He stopped and I looked up to see Cherri standing at a door.

He handed me over to her and ruffled my hair before leaving.

“Can you stand up Maya?” She asked and I nodded. She unbuttoned my pants and shimmied them down my legs before doing the same to my sweater.

I looked at myself in the mirror as she pulled my hair down.

I’d lost a lot of weight.

My ribs were sticking out.

But nothing stuck out like the bruises that dotted my body.

They were turning yellowish brown.

They’d heal soon.

“Come on, let’s get in the water.” Sherri offered with a tsk. I removed my bra and shyly slipped off my underwear before stepping into the warm water.

She swatted my hands away, even though I knew I was too old to be washed.

“You know, you’re very lucky Maya.” Sherri whispered as she rubbed shampoo into my hair.

It was nondescript with an underwhelming smell.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” I asked and she sat in silence before pouring water over my hair.

“Mr. Mack likes you. He chose you specifically. You’re so lucky to be chosen by him. He finds the lost souls and makes them into something wonderful. You’re very special to him.” She said dotingly and I let my eyes close.

Sherri was old enough to be my mom, maybe even the same age as Cory and Topanga, yet she had a naive quality about her voice.

It was unsettling.

“He hasn’t had someone like you in so very long. He’s been looking for someone like you and now he’s found you. Isn’t that amazing?” She said and I nodded softly.

I just wanted to eat and sleep.

Instead, I just fell asleep.

She woke me up and led me out of the bathtub after she was finished washing me before handing me some clothes.

I pulled them on and she tied my hair back in a braid.

“Go ahead, look at yourself.” She said and I looked in the mirror.

The t-shirt was soft but plain, and slightly too big for me. The joggers were comfortable and did well to hide the curve of my hips.

I was utterly androgynous.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

So I felt nothing.

I let Sherri lead me back to my room and I sat on the bed.

A bowl of soup and Mr. Mack were waiting.

“Doesn’t it feel nice to get all cleaned up?” He asked and I nodded.

“Good, I brought you something to eat. We can’t have you waste away on me.” He said and I nodded, but eyed the soup carefully.

My throat felt raw from vomiting for what felt like a two weeks straight.

How long had I been here?

“The clothes fit you I see, are they comfortable?” He asked and I nodded.

“Yes Mr. Mack.” I said softly, my throat scratchy.

“That’s wonderful. They look wonderful on you.” He said and I nodded.

“Thank you Mr. Mack.” I could feel a blush fill my cheeks.

“I’ll get Sherri to get you something for your throat. Perhaps a Lemon tea. Please, eat.” He said and I moved to sit next to him on the bed. He handed me the soup as Sherri left the room.

“You have to eat, to get your strength up so you can come meet the rest of us. They’re so anxious to meet you.” He said and I nodded.

“You’ll do so well here. You’ll be so loved. They’ll love you just as much as I did when I first met you.” He spoke softly, stroking the braid as I sipped down the soup.

I finished the bowl, dreading the moment when my stomach would turn against me and I would violently vomit.

It didn’t happen that night and I fell asleep to Sherri whispering affirmations of love and acceptance in my ear.

Maybe I belonged here.


	5. Katy's A+ Parenting

Shawn

I sat in my hotel room, trays of takeout littering the table as I checked out missing reports and siting forums.

This felt weird, and I couldn’t shake something out of my bones.

Something was going on with Maya, something that I knew, I just for the life of me couldn’t grasp it.

Why couldn’t I figure it out?  
I wanted to figure it out.

The prime-time TV show ended and the news kicked on.

“Search parties gather in the park as the hunt begins for a runaway Manhattan teen.” I shut my laptop and grabbed the remote, turning up the volume.

“Fourteen year old Maya Hart was reported missing after a friend of the family noticed she hadn’t been going to school. The child’s mother insists that her daughter had run away and that there was no foul play.” The anchor began.

Katy’s face popped up on the screen.

“I love my Maya. I really do. And wherever she is, I want her to come home. But I know her, and I know in my heart of hearts that she didn’t get taken from me.” Katy was in her work uniform, giving her best impression of a concerned parent.

If only she acted this well in auditions.

“Investigators are treating this case as a runaway. They have insisted that there was no foul play. As of now, they are looking into the possibility that the teen committed sui-” I muted the television and shook my head.

There had to be something on here, Maya couldn’t have just vanished into thin air.

 

Where was Maya?

The phone woke me that morning and I cracked my jaw as I reached for my cellphone.

“Any sign of Maya?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.

“Well, she hasn’t been home yet, if that’s what you’re asking.” Katy said and I blinked the sleep away quickly.

“Why are you calling me Katy?” I asked and she laughed coyfully.

“Well Shawn, I thought we could still be friends.” She said and I sighed.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“I blew that whole situation way out of proportion Shawn. I never meant what I said. Look, just come over.” She said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“What do you want?” I asked again and she sighed.

“I just want to be nice. We haven’t seen each other in a long time. I’m lonely Shawn, lonely and scared for Maya.” She purred and I shook my head.

I shouldn’t do it.

I did it anyway.

I knocked on the door and she opened it, a tight shirt that looked like it belonged to Maya and a pair of jeans on.

“Day off?” I asked and she nodded.

“Come in.” She said and I walked around her, sitting on the couch anxiously.

“I’m really sorry about what I said. All that stuff I implied. I was just talking out of my head. I know you Shawn. I know you would never do that.” She said, sitting close to me on the couch.

“You could have said all this over the phone.” I said and she leaned against me heavily.

“But then I’d be alone. I’m so afraid of being alone.” She whispered before leaning back.

“Would you like something to drink?” She asked, popping up and moving to the kitchen.

“Just water please.” I yelled, looking around.

It was weird without Maya popping from her room, telling me she’s heading to Riley’s, or pressing between her mom and me to inquire about the last place I was, or whether I took pictures just for her.

“It’s just adults here Shawn. I won’t crucify you for having a beer.” She said, sitting back on the couch, two beers in her hand.

“I’d rather not Katy, but thanks.” I said, tapping my fingers on my leg.

“Did you see me on TV last night?” She asked and I scoffed.

“Yeah, you gave a real convincing performance. For a second I actually believed you gave a shit about your daughter.” I said and she chuckled.

“You have a way with your words Hunter.” She said darkly.

“I care about that little girl. I may not always go about it in what you think is the right way, but I care.” She sniffed before opening the beer and taking a sip.

“So many parents say that, and it’s always after they’ve fucked up their kid for life” I said before standing.

“Wait Shawn, please don’t go. I’m serious.” She said, grabbing a hold of my belt.

“Come on Katy, I told you we can’t do this.” I said and she yanked my belt harder.

“Why not? Why am I not good enough for you?” She asked and I scrubbed my face with my hands.

 “It’s not like that.” I whispered.

“I can be her, I promise. I’ll be the next best thing.” She said, yanking me on top of her.

“Katy please.” I whispered.

“I’m Maya. Shawn, I’m Maya.” She begged and I tried to push her away, a blush pricking my face.

“Please, let me be enough. I can be enough this time. You won’t have to use her. Just use me.” She said and I kissed her before pushing her away, afraid i'd heard what i think I had.

“Katy, what did you just say?” I whispered and she shook her head.

“Answer me!” I yelled and she flinched.

“Katy, I swear to God. Don’t tell me you let one of them do that to her.”

“Shawn.” She begged and I shook my head.

“Katy…” I warned again and she just shook her head.

I left immediately.

I made my way back to my room, wanting to rage. I was angry, angrier than I’d been in the longest time. How could Katy do that to Maya?

How could she let a man come in and take advantage of that poor child?

How could someone touch her and make her feel like she is nothing, that she was worthless.

I looked at the fridge that was in the corner of the room.

It was stocked with expensive booze.

I went to the fridge and pulled a bottle out before setting it on my nightstand.


	6. 13 Days Gone: How Do You Enter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has non graphic sexual assault of a minor, and mentions of past abuse.

Maya

13 days gone

I took a measured step out of my room, Sherri’s arm holding mine to stabilize me. I felt like I was a baby deer learning how to walk for the first time.

She led me into a foyer where everyone was waiting, watching me.

“Come now Maya.” Mr. Mack said, his arm wrapping around my shoulders. I shied into his jacket.

He felt safe.

“Come on Maya.” He whispered in my ear, his hands rubbing up and down my arms. “This is not a place of judgement, just pure love. Remember?”

I nodded slowly and he let me go.

I stepped into the middle of the room and everyone stood up.

“Maya!” They all exclaimed and I took a step back.

It was weird having all eyes on me, not having Riley there to do something freakish to distract, Lucas to dazzle, or Farkle to flirt.   
It was just me.

I didn’t know how I felt about being just me.

Someone stepped forward and wrapped me in a hug.

“A hug is a burst of pure love.” The woman said as she hugged me before I was passed on.

“I have pure love for you Maya.” Another woman said as she hugged me.

I was passed around the crowd as they whispered affirmations into my ear. I was finally pulled back into Sherri’s arms before being handed back to Mr. Mack. By then my skin was lit up with embarrassment and I wanted to leave. He tucked me to his body, his hand rubbing over the back of my head.

“I have pure love for you Maya.” He whispered, his other hand spreading out in the middle of my back.

My blush reached all the way down to my toes.

“You’re so special Maya. I am so glad you came here.” He whispered and I nodded into his chest.

 

20 days gone

He ran his hands down my back as I sat in front of him.

“How do you enter Maya?” Mr. Mack whispered into my ear.

“With Pure love and no Judgement.” I whispered and his hands traveled up my arms.

“Will you give up all of your outside influences?” He whispered and I nodded.

“Yes Mr. Mack.” His lips pressed into the back of my head.

“This is a place of love, a place for those who need love. Do you need love Maya?” He spoke softly, his lips trailing across my hair.

My body tensed up.

I was shaken by thoughts of my mom’s boyfriend sneaking into my room, trying to push his big sweaty hands into my underwear. My mom stood at the door, pleading that she was better, that she could do things that I never could.

“Maya, you must give up all outside influences. There is only love here.” He said and I nodded, trying to shake _his_ phantom touches.

“This is a place of love, a place for those who need love. Do you need love Maya?” He asked again and nodded.

“Yes Mr. Mack.” I muttered, watching the candle on the desk flicker.

“Are you centered Maya?” He mouthed against my ear as his hands trailed over my shoulders and I let my eyes drift closed.

“I am centered.” I whispered.

“You are so special. God brought you to me.” He muttered as his hands drifted down to the front of my shoulders, his pinkies getting hooked over my prominent collarbones, his middle fingers stretching out to reach my ribs.

A blush spread across my body.

He blew the candle out.

 

“You did so good, Maya.” He whispered, running his hands through my hair.

It was limp and damp with sweat.

I wanted to throw up.

“You are so special.” He said and I closed my eyes.

This was different. This wasn’t what my mom’s boyfriend did to me.

This was pure love, not lust.

I just had to remember that.

He was the only one who loved me enough.

He was the only one who loved me.


	7. Nightmare

Shawn

_I closed my eyes as his hands drifted down my chest._

_“Are you centered Shawn?” He asked softly and I nodded._

_“I want to hear you say it Shawn. I need to hear it.” He whispered._

_“I am centered.” I answered and his thumb caught on my collarbones and his middle fingers sunk closer and closer to my bellybutton. I recoiled as his hands drifted closer and closer._

_“There are no Judgments here Shawn, just pure love.” He said and I let him pull me closer as his hands rested on my bare hips, rubbing circles into the pale skin that was quickly reddening._

_“You’re so special.”_

 I bolted in bed, knocking the remote to the ground. I could hear the batteries scattering under the bed.

I pushed my hair back, thankful that it didn’t flop into my face.

I wasn’t sixteen anymore.

My chest was still heaving and a layer of sheen coated my skin. I kicked my feet over the side of the bed and made my way into the bathroom, emptying my stomach.

I hadn’t had that dream in so long.

I spat into the toilet and stood up, flushing with my foot. I made my way to the mirror and looked at myself.

I was 34, I wasn’t the same boy who wanted a strong hand to lead him.

I wasn’t still wrecked from my parents not wanting me; living with someone who I was sure didn’t care about me. I wasn’t looking for unconditional ‘pure’ love and no judgement.

I wasn’t looking for a father figure.

My stomach cramped again and another wave of nausea hit me as something clicked.

Maya was looking for all of those things.

Mr. Mack had a way of finding those lost children and getting his hooks in them.

Maya was just like me.

I grabbed my jacket and keys before driving to Cory’s house.

“Shawn, what are you doing?” He asked, rubbing at his eyes.

What time was it?

I looked down at my watch.

It was five in the morning on Saturday.

“Have you been drinking?” Cory asked and I ignored his question.

“Cory, he has her.” I panted and he raised his eyebrow.

“What are you talking about Shawn?” He asked carefully and I looked over at him.

How could he not know what I’m talking about?  
“I know where Maya is, Cory. We have to go to Pittsburgh. We have to go get her.” I said and his eyebrows edged even closer to his hairline.

“Shawn, you’re drunk. You need to sleep it off. He can’t have her. They’re defunct, and that’s not his M.O. He doesn’t take kids from out of the state.” He tried to soothe and I pushed him off of me.

“You’re wrong Cory. He has her and we have to go get her. I know what they do there. We’ve got to get that little girl out of there. I can’t be the only one who cared about her.” I yelled.

“What’s going on?” I heard Riley whisper as she walked into the living room.

“Go back to bed Riley sweetie.” Cory said softly and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Were you talking about Maya?” She asked, “Do you know where she is?”

“Ye-” I began.

“Riley sweetie, just go back to bed.” Cory goaded.

“Do you know what Katy let her boyfriends do to her? Of course she ran away, ran straight into his arms.” I said, stumbling and Riley stepped closer to us.

“Who’s arms? What happened to Maya? What are you talking about Uncle Shawn?” She asked.

“Katy let them int-”

“Enough Shawn.” Cory yelled before stepping closer to me.

“Not in front of my Riley. Not like this. I won’t have you like this around her. Go back to your hotel, sleep it off.” He said softly, his voice full of gravel, and I grabbed my jacket.

“Fine, I’ll find her, I will.” I said, staggering.

“Leave your keys.” He ordered and I shook my head.

“I made it here, I can make it back.” I said and Cory shook his head.

“You’re not driving like that. Leave the keys.”

“I can’t ride the subway.” I said and he shook his head.

“You’re going to have to.”

“Why can’t you ride the subway?” Riley asked.

“Riley, bed. Please.” He ordered and she sighed but made her way back to her room.

“Cory, I can’t…. I can’t go underground again.” I pleaded and he closed his eyes, clenching his jaw before going to the kitchen. He grabbed some money out of a jar before handing it to me.

“Take a cab, just go home and sleep it off. Come back with a clear head.” He said and I shook my head.

“It’ll be too late soon Cory. Soon he’ll indoctrinate her and then…” I paused and he sighed.

“He doesn’t have her. Now go sleep it off.” He ordered and I turned and left the apartment.

Mr. Mack had her, I was sure.

But how did he find her?

I found myself in front of a rundown high rise apartment.

I shouldn’t knock on the door.

But I did.

“Hello Shawn.” Katy greeted me and I looked down at my feet. What was I doing here?


	8. 30 days Gone

Maya

30 days gone.

I threw up and Sherri ran her hands through my hair.

“Maya, you’ve got to get it all out.” She whispered, and I heaved into the bowl, my stomach feeling like it caved all the way to my spine.

It only served to make the pain in my stomach flair up even further

“If you were truly centered Maya, you wouldn’t be feeling this way.” She whispered and I leaned my head against the porcelain.

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears slide hotly over my cheeks.

“I am centered.” I whispered and she scratched at my scalp lightly.

“I’m just sick.” I whimpered.

“You’re sick with the old world. You’ve got to let it go.” She said and I nodded softly.

I was completely done with the ‘old world’.

I knew The Truth now.

Only sometimes The Truth didn’t seem like it was the right way to go.

I heard footsteps and I tried to lift my head.

“Is she still sick?” Mr. Mack asked.

“Yes, her stomach hasn’t settled since she was welcomed in.” Sherri said and he came to kneel beside me.

I tried to push him away.

I didn’t want him to see me like this.

My hair was a wild mess, and I could feel the spit clinging to my chin.

“Don’t resist me Maya. How can you be truly centered if you allow yourself to run from pure love?” He said and I nodded.

“I am Centered.” I whispered and I could feel his grin again the back of my head.

“Come now, let’s get you back to bed.” He whispered before standing up.

“Do you think that’s a good idea? She hasn’t held anything in since that night.” Sherri said, her hands gripping me tight.

“Yes Sherri. She needs me. She is my special one. Let me take care of her.” He said and Sherri nodded, helping me up.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” She whispered, wiping my face with a cool cloth before brushing my teeth. I tried to do it myself, but my head hurt too much.

Mr. Mack lifted me once Sherri was done, my head tucked against his chest.

My feet hung loosely and I closed my eyes.

My stomach was killing me.

He sat down on the bed, keeping me in his lap.

“You’ve got to relax, Maya. If you don’t, you’ll make yourself even sicker. That” he put his hand on my stomach. “That is self judgement, right there, that burning pain. You’re punishing yourself. And for what?” He asked and I closed my eyes.

It was so dark on the inside.

My room was dark, devoid of natural sunlight.

I just wanted to see some color.

Like that picture that hung over my bed that Shawn took for me.

Deadly Nightshade.

Such a bright purple, a burst of color in a dreary life.

He said it reminded him of me, so dangerous, but full of beauty.

“Shawn.” I muttered through a parched mouth.

Mr. Mack left quickly and I laid on my side.

My stomach still hurt and I was still nauseous, but there was nothing in my stomach to throw up.

Sherri came in later, sitting on the edge of my bed. She stroked my hair as she whispered something that I couldn’t understand.


	9. I feel it in my gut

Shawn

I awoke to an empty bed, my head pounding.

I wasn’t in my hotel room.

I swung my feet over the bed and Katy came to stand in the door, fixing her apron around her waist.

“I’m heading to work.” She said before slipping some aspirin on the side table.

“I’m sorry I came here.” I said, dropping my head in my hands.

“It’s okay. It’s not fun having the apartment all to myself at night.” She whispered before tucking her arms around herself.

“Did we?” I asked and she leaned against the door frame.

“Nope. You came in, we kissed, and you fell asleep.” She said with a sigh.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” I said and she shrugged.

“I didn’t mind it, until you fell asleep.” She said and I stood up only to plop down on the bed.

“You don’t have to leave just yet. I have to go to work, you can stay and recuperate, or shower.” She said and I nodded. She grabbed her keys before turning to look at me.

“Do you really know where she is?” Katy asked and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“What?” I asked.

“You said you knew last night. You know where Maya is.” She said and I shook my head.

“I was really dru-”

“Well, wherever she is. I hope she’s happy. I hope that she never comes home.” Katy whispered and I clenched my teeth.

“Why would you say that?” I asked, my voice hard and she stared back at me, her glare just as hard.

“She wasn’t happy here. She was like her father, she wanted more than she had. I hope she got whatever she was looking for.”

“Katy-”

“No Shawn. She left me and I am sick and tired of being left. I don’t have the energy anymore to wonder why it happened. I’m the one she left and I can do nothing more that hope she’s happy with her decision.” She whispered.

“And when she comes back?” I asked and she looked past me.

“If she comes back, she’ll have to figure it out.” She said before leaving the apartment.

 

I reached for my car keys, my head finally clear enough to head to my apartment. My phone was dead and I honestly just wanted to get out of this empty apartment. It was weird without having Maya here.

I left my car at Cory’s last night.

I got up, resigned to pay for a cab when I looked back at Maya’s door.

It hadn’t been opened it seemed since the day I found out she was missing.

I pushed opened the door and stepped in. The bed was still unmade, and her backpack sat by the door, like she was getting ready for school.

 Her clothes were still in her closet, so she didn’t pack any for the trip.

I sat down at her desk; she had an old desktop computer

It didn’t have a password.

I went to her history and scrolled through it.

A lot of it was websites for Cory’s assignments, or Tumblr. A couple were websites for  clothing stores.

Then something caught my eye.

**Are You Centered?**

My blood ran cold as I thought back to last night’s dream.

I was right.

He had her.

I went to click on it when I heard whispers from the living room. I turned off the computer quickly and stood up, pulling the door opened.

I was faced by Farkle, Riley and Lucas.

“What are you doing here?” Riley asked.

“I could ask all three of you the same thing. Breaking and entering is a crime you know.” I said and Lucas raised his eyebrow.

“Yes, I assume you know it too.” He said and I looked down at him.

“I was invited over, you weren’t.” I said.

“We were just worried about Maya. We figured maybe we could come over and figure out what happened to her. If you know where she is, that means that we could find her. We have to find her.” Riley said and I sighed.

I wanted to find her too.

But if it was like I remember, she was too far gone.

We wouldn’t be getting her back.

At least not the same Maya we had before.

“Look, I could be wrong, besides, this isn’t some Scooby doo mystery. You can’t just-” I said, stepping into my shoes.

I had to get out of there.

“Sir?” Lucas interrupted me and I raised my eyebrow.

“What?”

“Do you know where Maya is?”

“I could be wro-”

“I didn’t ask if you could be wrong. I asked you if you knew where she is. Deep down in your gut, do you know where she is?” He asked and I nodded.

“Then that’s where she is, and we’re going to get her back. I feel that in my gut.” Lucas said and I nodded.

“Alright, okay. I’ll go to the police.” I said.

 

“Mr. Hunter, we understand your concerns, however, I’m not sure if we can proceed with this tip.” The office said and I leaned against the desk.

“Why not?” I asked and he sighed.

“The Centre hasn’t had any movement since 1998, they seem to be disbanded. We just can’t find them.” He said and I huffed.

“Did you check underground. That’s what they do, what Mr. Mack does. He hides them underground so no one will know.” I ranted and the guy just raised his eyebrow at me.

“I will look into the matter, but this doesn’t seem like his M.O. This girl is a native New Yorker, with no ties other than the Matthew’s family to Philadelphia. There is no way that little girl could have made her way onto a transit to another state without a single camera in the city catching her. How did she get into Philadelphia to even meet this Mr. Mack? How could she have possibly been taken to him?” He said and I scoffed.  
“There are ways to travel around this city without being seen. He had her hidden. Please, he has her, I know he does.” I said and the man sighed.

“If you can get us some concrete evidence, maybe we can see if we can find this guy. But until then, I hate to say it, but we just can’t help.” He said, crossing his arms and I sighed.

“Thanks for your help officer.”

I could hear them now; soon as I leave they’ll laugh about the ranting lunatic raving about a cult snatching little girls.

They would be no help to me.

I’d have to find her on my own.


	10. 32 Days Gone: I'm not a leaver, I'm a stayer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little dubious... she's a little brainwashed.

Maya

32 days gone

 I spat up bile, the spit tinged with red. The back of my throat was raw and heated.

“Come on now Maya, you’re okay.” Sherri whispered, patting my back. I curled up on my side, hugging my stomach to my chest as I coughed.

“It hurts.” I whimpered my skin slick with sweat.

“I know sweetie, I know.” She said, her hands coming to my hair and I flinched away from her.

She tsked and pulled her hands away from me.

She helped me up and I doubled over from the pain

She scooped me up, and brought me back to the room where I laid on the bed gingerly, still clutching my stomach. She sat on the edge of my bed, her hands stroking my forehead.

“You’ve got to just let it go sweetie. Trust me, everything gets better once you let it go. You’ve got to lose all that stuff from your past.” Sherri whispered and I closed my eyes.

How do I forget this needling pain in my stomach? How do I forget this feeling that everything is going to shit and that something is seriously wrong?

How do I say that?

“Maya?” I heard knocking at the door and I looked up to see Mr. Mack standing at the door. I sat up in bed and pushed my unruly hair behind my ears.

“Are you centered?” I greeted and he nodded.

“I am centered.” He said before looking over to Sherri.

“Can you leave us alone for a moment?” He asked her and she nodded dutifully before leaving the room.

“Maya, please talk to me.” He said softly, sitting on the edge of my bed. I blinked slowly and he sighed, running his hands through my hair.

“Maya, trust has always been a problem for you.” He said and I nodded.

“But you’ve got to know, that I love you, and I care about you. I care about you more than you could possibly ever know.” He said and I nodded again.

“I just want you to feel better. You can’t feel better if you don’t let yourself feel better. You must set yourself free. You were sent to me, my special one. Don’t let anything keep you from your destiny.” He whispered before kissing me on the forehead.

I gagged before l leaning over the bed, bile splattering into the basin that sat there.

 

“I can’t do this anymore Sherri. She doesn’t want to be here, and I can’t…. I can’t lose her like I lost _him._ ” I heard Mr. Mack whisper to Sherri outside my door. I had been napping, and avoiding everyone else’s touches.

I got off of the bed and put my ear to the door.

“What are you going to do?” She asked and he sighed.

“I don’t know. He left me and then there she was, so many years later, there she was and she was him. Everything about her screamed _him_ , and I knew that she was sent here just for me. She was made to be the one. She was made to replace what I lost. But she, she doesn’t want that. She’s making herself sick because she doesn’t want to be here with me.” He said and I could hear a hand on the door knob. I ran back to the bed and pulled the plain tan blanket up over myself.

“Maya?” Mr. Mack said as he walked through the door.

“Are you centered?” He asked, coming to stand by my door.

“I am centered.” I said and he shook his head.

“No you’re not. Not truly. You don’t want to be here with me, do you?” He said before sighing.

“If it is what you want, I’ll take you back home.” He said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“You don’t want me anymore?” I whispered, a sharp ache settling into my sternum.

“You are the one who wants to leave me Maya. Not the other way around.” He said and I shook my head, standing up on my knees.

“No, Mr. Mack. I’m not a leaver. I’m a stayer. I’m the one who gets left.” I said and looked away from me.

“You don’t have to convince me Maya, I’m letting you go home back to those people who mistreat you. I love you enough to know that you’d be happier there, God knows why. I’m letting you leave me.” He said and I shook my head, grabbing onto his shirt.

“Don’t send me back. I don’t… please. I’m happy here, honest. I don’t want to leave you.” I said and he looked down at me with sad eyes.

“Maya, do you mean that?” He asked and I nodded.

“All you need is someone strong to guide you Maya, you know that?” He said and I looked up at him.

“I need you Mr. Mack.” I whispered and he cupped the back of my head tenderly before kissing the top of my head.

“I love you Mr. Mack.” I whispered and he kissed me on the mouth.

“Are you centered, Maya?” He whispered and I nodded before reaching up to kiss him.

“I am centered.” I said softly and he pushed me back on the bed.

“How do you love Maya?” He whispered and he kissed down the side of my neck.

“I love with pure love and no judgment.” I whispered before closing my eyes.


	11. Let's find Maya.

 

Shawn

I found a poster of Maya, one of those missing persons flyers in the gutter. The rain had mostly eroded the ink, but I could see her, gazing out with those blue eyes, begging to be brought home. She was begging for someone to take care of her. She was begging me to take care of her.

I just didn’t realize it until it was too late and she was in _his_ hands.

I had to get her back. I folded the soggy flier up and stuck it in my pocket before heading to Maya’s house.

Katy wouldn’t be home for another six hours, and I’d have free reign of the house.

I’d be able to figure out how the hell he got to her.

I heard knocking on the door and I was met with four kids standing at the door.

“Who are you?” I asked the black kid and he held his hand out.

“Zay babineoux, Lucas’ right hand man, no offense Farkle.” He said and Farkle rolled his eyes at him before walking past me into the house.

“Don’t worry Farkle, you have my left hand.” Lucas said following.

“What about me? What do I have?” Riley asked with an interested look.

“You know exactly what you have Riley.” He said and she blushed but followed him in.

It was then that I was reminded of just how young they actually were.

“Why are you here?” I asked Zay.

“I have a vested interest in the case.” He said and I shook my head before letting him pass.

“Alright, so I think she was taken by a cult that originated out of Philadelphia.” I said and Riley furrowed her eyebrows.

“You think that Maya is in Philadelphia?” She asked and I shook my head.

“I think she is definitely with them. I just don’t know where they are. Which is why I called you guys here. I think we need an in. We need someone to contact Mr. Mack and get him to come after, to get him to tell you where the Centre is. We need someone who can be pretend to be abandoned. Someone who is angry, and tired of not being enough.” I said and Farkle nodded.

“I get that.”

“So, you want me to?” Riley asked and I shook my head.

“No, you just exude happiness and Love. He’d see right through it. You’re not lost enough.” I said and sighed.

“We need someone who’s handsome.” I said looking at Lucas.

“Like Farkle.” Lucas said pointing at Farkle and he blushed.

“You think I’m handsome?” he asked.

“Yeah, you’re very pretty.” Lucas said and I raised an eyebrow.

Yep, they’d need to talk about that soon.

“Wait, wait, wait. How do you know this guy is going to go for that kind of thing… you know, boys?” Zay asked and I cleared my throat.

“He’s done it before.” I said before turning on Maya’s computer.

“Alright, work your magic Farkle.” I said and he sat down at the desk, the color finally beginning to fade from his cheeks.

 

“Hey, Mr. Hunter?” I looked back to see Zay and Lucas standing behind me. I put down the glass of water and turned towards them.

“Did Farkle get to him yet?” I asked and he shook his head.

“He’s still luring him in with promises of pure love and no Judgment. Farkle says he can’t rush it, it’d get suspicious.” Lucas answered and Zay elbowed him in the side lightly.

“So uh, what are you guys doing out here?” I asked with an awkward cough.

“You were taken by him weren’t you?” Zay asked and I swallowed.

“No, not taken. I went there voluntarily.” I said, running my hands through my hair.

“He touch you?” Zay asked and I looked down.

“We should really go back and see where Farkle is with this.” I said and Lucas stepped forward.

“Did he touch you?” He asked and I took a deep breath.

“That’s not something appropriate to talk about.” I said and he stepped closer.

“He touched you, and he’s going to do the same to Maya, isn’t he?” He said, and I could see his jaw tighten, his fist clench and his muscles tense.

There it was the anger that underlined that sweet face.

The wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“Not if we get her back.” I said and he shook my head.

“It’s already happened hasn’t it? She’s been gone for twenty five days. There’s no way he didn’t. Fuck!” Lucas cursed punching the fridge.

Zay grabbed his arm and pulled it back.

“I get it kid. I’m angry too. I should’ve known. I should have known earlier. It was my fault. If I hadn’t left… If I hadn’t fallen for it, Maya would never have been there. He would have never tried to replace me. It’s my fucking fault and I’m living with it.”

“When you go get her, I’m coming with.” He said, his voice deadly.


	12. 34 days: In The Sun

Maya

34 days Gone

I stretched my feet until they touched the cold ground. My stomach still pained me, but I was resolved to stay.

I had to stick it out.

I couldn’t let myself become someone who leaves.

I had to stay.

I wish my father would have learned that.

I wish Shawn would have stayed.

There was a knock at my door and I let myself fully slip off the bed and stand.

Sherri came in, a bowl of soup in her hand.

I’d only been eating liquids lately.

It made it easier for me when it eventually came back up.

“I brought you food.” She said, putting the bowl on my night stand and I laid back on the bed, my hands fanning out over the scratchy tan blanket.

“When do we get to go outside?” I asked, pointing my feet towards the ceiling, stretching my toes out like a sunflower in the proverbial sun.

If I concentrated hard enough, I could feel the sun warming them.

I missed the sun.

I turned over and Sherri looked up at me, her face surprised.

“We don’t go outside.” She said, her voice measured.

“Why not?” I asked and she sat down on the bed next to me.

“Because, out there people can judge you, they can judge you and make you see something other than the truth. They can steal you away if you’re not careful.” She said and I frowned.

“That’s oddly specific. What happened? When was the last time you could go outside?” She asked and she bit her lip.

“I think it was 1997, so before you were born. We used to go out and recruit others, then   _He_ happened.” She said and I poked her side.

“Who is he?” She asked.

“Shawn. He was just perfect you know. He was so needing of us, he needed no judgment and love. He was special like you are. He was the first one. But, his ‘friends’ didn’t see just how much Shawn needed to be here, and they stole him away. They convinced him that Mr. Mack didn’t care about him, and he left us. Mr. Mack got so afraid that more of us would leave that he moved us underground. We weren’t allowed to go outside anymore, we had to leave Philadelphia.” She said with a sigh.

“But that’s all in the past, and Mr. Mack knows what’s best for us.” She said and I bit my lip.

Could she mean my Shawn?

No, not my Shawn.   
Shawn belonged to Cory and Riley.

He didn’t want my mom.

Or me.

“Don’t you miss it though?” I asked and she looked over at me.

“Miss outside, miss the warmth of the sun, the cool of the breeze. That feeling of hot asphalt against your feet on those summer nights that feel like you could see the whole city from your rooftop?” I asked and she chuckled.

“Manhattan and Philadelphia are completely different Maya. Where I grew up, we had grass, and backyards, and houses with white fences.” She said, closing her eyes, a small smile playing on her lips.

“I don’t know how you can go almost twenty years without the sun. It’s only been 30 days and I miss it already. We should go outside.” I said and she tensed.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Mr. Mack said we couldn’t.” She said and I sighed.

“I know, but maybe, maybe we could convince him that sunshine wouldn’t be so bad. I need some warmth.” I said and she sighed and handed me the soup.

“Drink this, maybe it’ll warm you up.” She said and begrudgingly took the soup from her.

 

“Maya, come on.” Sherri said, shaking me awake.

I didn’t know whether it was day or night anymore.

There was not a speck of natural light.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my arms going to wrap around my aching stomach.

“We’re going outside. Get up before I lose my courage.” She said in a whisper, her voice just as excited and saccharine as Riley’s used to be as I coaxed her on our next adventure.

“Okay, let’s go.” I said slipping off the bed. She held one of my hands in hers as the other stayed over her mouth, holding in her giggles.

I followed her up some stairs that were hidden behind a shelf before finding myself standing in front of a door. She opened it and I stepped out as my bare feet reached out and touched the warm grass, and wow, what an experience that was. I stepped forward, shielding my eyes before looking back at Sherri. She stood in the doorway, her eyes shielded and her face full of fear.

“Come on, just trust me.” I said, grabbing her hand and pulling her out.

She gasped, her toes spreading experimentally before reaching her arms out.

“It’s amazing. So warm.” She whispered and I let myself fall onto the grass, the tall blades covering me.

I reached back, undoing my braid and a tense feeling seemed to release from my body.

I was alive and in the moment.

I was so warm.

I could sleep for a million years.

Sherri sat beside me, her legs crossed.

“How long have you loved him?” I asked, looking over at her and she raised an eyebrow at me.

“Loved who?” She asked.

“Mr. Mack?” I whispered.

“Since I first laid eyes on him.” She said, laying back until our shoulders were touching.

“Do you hate me because he picked me and not you? Because I would hate you.” I whispered and she shook her head.

“I can’t hate you. You were picked because you were _Him_. I introduced _him_ to Mr. Mack, I knew what I was doing when I introduced him to Shawn Hunter. I knew he would never love me like that and that’s okay. That was just the way it was meant to be, I suppose.” She said and I sat up as I heard a door slam.

“What are you doing out here?” Sherri shot up, her eyes the size of saucers. Mr. Mack was standing in front of the door, his fists balled up at his side.

“We’re just…” She began and he grabbed her by her hair.

“You’re trying to take her away from me? Are you trying to leave me?” He asked and she shook her head.  
“No, I promise. I just thought that some fresh air would make her feel better.” She whimpered and he pushed her towards the door.

“GO!” He yelled and she scurried down the stairwell.

He grabbed my arm tight and I hissed in pain.

“You’re not leaving me. Not again.” He said before slinging me back through the door way. The door shut behind him and I was left in darkness, yet again.


	13. Bring her home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shawn finds Maya

Shawn

She’d been gone for 34 days now.

I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew what that meant.

I just feared for the worst.

I hoped that she wasn’t in nearly as deep as I was. I was hooked from the minute he hugged me.

God I hope she wasn’t as hooked as I was.

Maya was smart, smarter than I’d been at that age.

Hell smarter than I’d been when I was sixteen and let myself get wrapped up in Mr. Mack’s web.

I should have known there would have been repercussions.

Nothing in my life is without a price.

“You’ve got anything yet Farkle?” I asked and he looked up from the computer, his eyes were red from staring at the screen.

He’d been at it for ten days straight.

“He still hasn’t disclosed yet. Do you think he’s on to me? How long did it take for you?” Farkle asked.

“A day. But back then, we didn’t do it on the computer, it was face to face.” I said, coming to sit behind him.

Their talk consisted of the same old things, a lack of judgement, pure love.

He was the same as always.

But there was nothing that led to his location.

“Do you think he tracked the computer? He might know that this is Maya’s IP address.” Farkle said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“He can do that?” I asked.

“Anyone with the right software can do it.” He said and the chat screen went blank.

“What just happened?” I asked.

“He logged off. He’s never logged off first before.” Farkle said, his eyes wide in astonishment.

“Is he on to us?” I asked and Farkle shook his head, his hands tapping incessantly over the keys.

“I don’t think so. It was so abrupt… Do you think something’s wrong?” He asked.

I could hear the undertone.

_Do you think something happened to Maya?_

“I don’t know.” I said before looking around the room.

Riley had fallen asleep on Maya’s bed and Lucas and his friend were in the living room ‘sick of reading the bullshit that man was spewing’.

“Farkle, can we talk?” I asked and he looked over at me, unable to do anything with the computer.

“Sure.” He whispered and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Do you feel all those things you were writing?” I asked and he looked down, his ears tinging with pink.

“It’s hard not to, you know. I’m surrounded by people like Lucas and Zay constantly, and I’m nothing like them. I’m not a hunk, or athletic or a class clown. I’m me, and being me doesn’t feel that good sometimes.” He said and I put my hand on his shoulders.

“It gets better.” I whispered and he scoffed.

“I’ve heard that so many times. I’m hurting yeah, but what kid doesn’t feel this way? Don’t worry, Mr. Mack isn’t drawing me in. He’s preying on children. These are the things kids want to hear, and I’m not too keen on his message. This stuff he’s spewing, isn’t going to work on me. When we get Maya back, I’m going to make sure that she knows she’s always had it, and it’s the real deal, you know.” Farkle said.

“Me too.” I looked up to see Zay standing at the door.

“Farkle that applies to you too, you know. Even though I haven’t known you as long as Freak Face or Smiley Riley, you know that you can depend on me. You know that we’re here to give you all that shit that maniac was throwing out?” He said and Farkle nodded.

“And no matter who you choose to love, we won’t care.” I heard Zay whisper to him and I smiled.

He’d be good for Maya, be what Angela was for me.

The computer chimed and we all turned towards it.

_How about you come be with me in Upstate New York? You can forget everything the city ever did to harm you. You can finally feel safe with me._

Maya was still in New York.

If he was in Upstate New York, I knew just where to find him.

 

 I knocked on Cory’s door, my hands shaking. I was going to get Maya.

“Shawn, what are you doing here?” Cory asked as he answered the door and I pushed into the apartment.

“I’m going to get Maya. I just wanted you to know before I leave.” I said and he raised his eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” He asked and I sighed.

“I was right, Mr. Mack does have Maya. They are holed up in Upstate New York.” I said and Cory crossed his arms.

“And you’re going to go?” He asked and I nodded.

“Yes. I would ask you to come with me, but you have kids to be with, and I have to go get her. I’ll call you when I get her out. I just wanted you to know that I was going to go.”

“Shawn, you can’t just go out there by yourself. You have enough evidence. Go to the police.” Topanga advised and I turned to look at her.

“They didn’t care before, and they’re not going to believe me. They’re going to say that it’s not him, or there’s not enough evidence, or god forbid I coerced a minor to risk his life by contacting a sexual predator. I’m going to get her. She already thinks that no one cares about her. I’ve got to fix it.”

“It’s not your problem to fix Shawn. It’s not your fault.” Topanga said and I shook my head.

“It is my fault. I did this, every man in her life did this to her. She needed me and I wasn’t there. I led her to him. I’ve got to fix it.” I said and Cory cleared his throat.

“Shawn’s right. The police won’t help. Cult leaders and police are a deadly mix. If they catch wind of it, it could be Waco all over again. We can’t risk that with Maya there.” Cory interjected and Topanga sighed.

“I’m still worried Shawn. There has to be something we can do.” She said and I sighed.

“Make sure we have somewhere to come back to. Katy said she doesn’t want Maya back.” I said and Topanga nodded, grabbing her address book.

“Alright, I’ll get it worked out. Take care of yourself Shawn.” She said and I nodded.

“Lucas wanted to come with me. Should I bring him?” I asked and Cory shook his head.

“Not if you don’t want the police involved. That kid will get you a record. If he sees Maya and she’s hurt, he’ll kill him.” Cory said and I nodded.

He sounded exactly like what I wanted to do.

 

I pulled up to the ranch, my heart beating quickly in my heart.

Sherri had told me about this place before, how Mr. Mack brought her up here when she first got there. He wanted someplace to call home for the Centre. Of course he would come crawling here.

I knocked on the door, wishing I had a better plan than the one I had now.

The door opened and Sherri stood behind it, her eye blacked.

“Sherri…”

“Shawn, you’ve got to go. You shouldn’t be here.” She said, trying to close the door in my face and I put my foot in it to prevent her from doing so.

“Open the door.” I said and I heard her whimper.

“Shawn, you have to leave, I’m not even supposed to answer the door. You have no reason to be here. Please leave.” She said and I pushed against the door harder.

“You know damn well I have a reason to be here. I came back to get something of mine. So open the fucking door.” I said and she squeaked.

I pushed opened the door and she fell to the floor.

“Shawn, you’ve got to leave. Please before you get us killed.” She said and I pulled the heavy metal out of my pocket.

“Sherri, I’ll kill you right now if you don’t take me to her.” I said and she squeezed her eyes closed before grabbing my arm and leading me down a long hallway. We went down a flight of stairs and came to an isolated room.

“She’s in there.” She whispered and I slung opened the door to see her lying on the bed, doubled over on herself.

“Maya?” I asked and she looked up at me.

She had a split lip and a dark ring around her forearm. She was nothing but skin and bones.

What did they do to her?

“Hey, I’m here to take you home.” I whispered and she shook her head.

“Mr. Mack will be mad.” She whispered and I clenched his teeth.

“My mom will kill me if I go back.” She whispered and I shook my head.

“Don’t worry about that. I’m here, I’ve got you. No one is mad at you. Let’s get out of here.” I said, lifting her off the bed.

“Which way out?” I asked and Sherri pointed to a door we hadn’t gone through.

“Are you sure?” I asked and she nodded.

“It’s the easiest way out without seeing him.” She said and I nodded.

I wanted to kill him for what he did to her, but I had to get her out safely. That meant that I couldn’t risk it coming to blows.

I climbed the stairs, Maya holding on as tightly as possible.

“Shawn.” I looked up to see Mr. Mack standing in front of the door. A cold chill slithered down my back and I tried not to be scared of him.

I wasn’t 16 anymore.

I was a grown man, and I had to save her.

“Get out of my way.” I hissed.

“I’m not losing you again.” He whispered and I shook my head, the hand tightening on the gun in my hand.

“Get out of the way. I’m not letting you do this.” I said louder and he smiled softly.

“Look what they’ve done to you. They’ve made you turn against me, against love.” He said and my grip tightened on the gun.

“No! This is what you’ve done to me. You did this. Now, get out of the way. I don’t want to shoot you in front of her, but I will.” I said through my teeth.

“Maya sweetie. Maya look at me.” He cooed softly and she buried her face in my jacket.

“Come on Maya. Look at me.” He said and her eyes snapped to him.

“Do you want to leave me Maya. Do you want to leave?” He asked and she shook her head.

“I’m not a leaver. I’m a stayer.” She whispered.

“I know sweetie. You’re not a leaver. Come to me.” He said and I tightened my grip on her.

“Shut up!” I yelled at him before looking at her.

“Look at me, it’s okay to leave him. He’s not good for you. I’m sorry if you ever thought I left you honey. I will never let you feel the way you felt here. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t. But I do, I do care about you.”

“Maya, you remember how it was before you got here. He’ll do the same thing as all those before him. He’ll sneak into your bedroom and make you feel unloved. You’ve never felt unloved with me.” He said and I grit my teeth, my anger filling my chest quickly.

“What! I would never harm her like that, ever. I know what you do. I remember what you did to me! You are the one who makes us feel unloved. Get out of the fucking way.” I said, the gun pointed at his chest.

“Maya, do you want to leave me?” He asked and I cocked the gun.

“Maya, do you want me to take you with me? Do you want me to take you home?” I asked and she nodded into my jacket.

“Yes.” She whispered.

“Get out of the way Mr. Mack.” I turned to see Sherri behind me.

“Sherri… What are you talking about?”

“He’ll kill you, and I’ll let him. Let them go.” She said and he furrowed his eyebrows at her.

“I’m not going to kill him.” I said before uncocking the gun.

“Exactly, now let her come back to me.” He said and I shook my head and threw the gun to Sherri.

“She will!” I said before pushing past Mr. Mack and out the door.

I heard a bang but I forced myself to keep going for Maya’s sake.

I made it to my car and laid Maya down in the passenger seat.

She fell into a soft sleep and I drove back towards home.


	14. Day 2: Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya's finally home and gets to talk to the gang. This is the last chapter!

Maya

2 Days home

I opened my eyes to see Shawn sitting next to my bed, his arms crossed as he dozed.

“Shawn?” I croaked and he opened his eyes, a smile on his face.

“How are you feeling?” He asked and I shrugged.

“I’m a little tired.” I whispered and he nodded.

“Yeah, they gave you a sedative. They said you had a stomach ulcer and you were very dehydrated.” He said, his eyes darting down my body.

I’d lost a lot of weight.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered and he shook his head.

“You don’t have to apologize. Not to me Maya. I know why you did it. I’m sorry I failed you.” He whispered, grabbing my hand and I looked down.

“Mr. Mack… hurt me.” I whispered and he nodded.

“I know. He hurt me too.” He said and I looked up at him, for the first time connecting those hazy memories of my last day at the Centre.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered and he nodded.

“I am too.” He whispered.

“Where’s my mom? She’s going to be so mad at me.” I whispered .

“Don’t worry about her, alright?” He said, stroking down my hair.

“What do you mean? I’ve got to go home and face her. She going to be so mad at me, she’s going to…” I closed my eyes as I thought about what she’d done before.

“Hey, hey, Shh, don’t worry alright? Don’t worry about her, she doesn’t matter. She won’t hurt you anymore. I’ve got you now. I promise.” He whispered, cradling my head between his hands.

“You don’t know. You can’t promise. Everyone promises me they’ll make it okay. But it’s never okay.” I whispered, tears escaping from my closed eyes. He wrapped his arms around me tight.

“I promise you I won’t let you down. You’re not going home to her Maya, I promise Katy won’t lay another hand on you. You’re going to live with me, if you want to. I’m going to take care of you.” He whispered and I recoiled from his hug.

“Come stay with you? You expect me to uproot my whole life, leave the only people who had the decency to care about me and follow you, on a whim?” I asked, bewildered and he grabbed my hand.

“No Maya. I don’t expect you to do any of that. I expect you to come live with me in a little apartment in Greenwich Village while I work locally until you graduate. I expect you to come with me in the summers, if you still want to travel. I expect you to feel safe with me and know that I care about you.” He said and I wrapped my arms tight around Shawn.

“Please don’t jerk me around. I can’t hope anymore. I don’t have any left. I want to believe you.” I whispered and his grip tightened on me.

“Believe it Maya. I know what it’s like. I won’t let you feel that way again.” He whispered and I just grabbed on tighter.

There was a knock at the door and he pulled away from me, keeping his hand in mine.

It didn’t feel wrong. It felt like what I’d always expected to feel when I held a father’s hand.

The door opened and Zay burst in, followed by Lucas, Riley, and Farkle.

“Peaches!” Riley yelled before wrapping her arms around me.

“Why would you leave me like that?” Riley whimpered, and I could feel her tears soaking through my shirt.

“I was looking for something. I was wrong. I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“Don’t apologize, it’s our faults. We didn’t notice you felt this way. We made it so that you didn’t feel safe enough to tell us. We all made mistakes.” Farkle said and I smiled at him.

“Look at you, you’re skinnier than Farkle now. My mama will definitely have to feed you.” Zay said with a smile and Farkle elbowed him.

“I’m going to go get some coffee. I’ll be right back, okay Maya?” Shawn said and I nodded before watching him go.

“I missed you guys.” I said, my eyes feeling heavy with tears.

“We missed you too Maya. God, it was awful without you. I never want to feel that way again.” Zay said and I looked down, my cheeks lighting up with a blush.

“Mr. Mack’s lucky Shawn didn’t bring me with him. I would have killed that man for doing this to you.” Lucas seethed, his eyes darting between my split lip and the bruise in my arm.

“You guys know about Mr. Mack?” I whispered and Farkle nodded.

“Shawn knew he took you, so we helped set up a sting so he could find you. No one believed him, so he came and got you on his own.” Farkle said and I smiled softly.

“Thank you guys. Thank you for believing him.” I whispered and Riley shrugged.

“We would have done anything to get you back.” She whispered and I bit my lip.

“We love you Maya, we care about you more than anything. We’re not friends, we’re family, we can’t function without you. We need you more than you know.” Farkle said and Zay grabbed my hand.

“Please know that we care. Because we do. Please know that I care what happens to you.” He said and I smiled, my skin alighting. I hadn’t realized Zay’s crush before, but now it all seemed so clear.

“Alright you guys. Visiting hours are almost over. You can come back later, Maya needs some rest.” Shawn said, as he walked into the room.  
Riley was the last to leave, unable to rip herself away, and truthfully I felt the same way.

“You’ve got yourself some great friends.” Shawn said and I smiled softly to me.

“I’ve got myself a family.” I whispered and he sat on the edge of the bed, his hands finding its way into the tangles of my hair.

“You sure do Kid. Get some rest alright? I’ll be here when you wake up.” He whispered and for the first time in my life I let myself hope and believe that he would be.

I closed my eyes with a soft sigh, my heart filled with new feelings.

I’d gone through some things that I wasn’t sure I’d ever get past, but with Shawn there, and my friends, I could have the family I deserve. I could be the Maya I deserved to be.

It wasn’t all going to be okay in a day.

But all I could do was hope that it would get better.


End file.
